Watermelon Wine

Watermelons are dirt cheap this year. I found a guy selling them out of a truck 2 for $5 so I picked up four. He asked what I was using them for, and when I told him "wine," he got all excited and handed me a business card. People always do that when we buy stuff from them to brew.

It's a pretty easy process and Man and I had a good time singing along to my Repo! The Genetic Opera Pandora channel while processing melons.

First you have to scoop out the melon. I just took big spoonfuls and chopped them smaller with the edge of the spoon. I'd fill a bowl and take it to the dining room and dump into a bowl for Man to mill in the foley mill.



Then he'd mill the melon while I kept tearing apart the watermelons in the kitchen.



Then we strained the milled juice to get the pulp out.



Once we were finished we used to hydrometer to get a reading on the specific gravity and potential alcohol so we could determine how much sugar to add to our must. Our first reading (before adding sugar) would have given us a 4% potential alcohol...so yeah...we added 7 POUNDS of sugar. Not cups...POUNDS. That's 15 3/4 cups of sugar. Yeast are hungry little bastards.



Our final specific gravity after adding sugar was 1.15 and potential alcohol volume will be 19% with an expected turnout of about 14-16%.

Then we added our yeast. My yeast had accidentally been tucked into a bag and put in the garage with the rest of the supplies instead of in the fridge, so we had to proof it before adding it to make sure it wasn't dead. Thank goodness it wasn't and it was very healthy, hungry yeast.



We did some stirring and covered it with a sterile cloth (yes, Chococat) and tied it shut with some yarn because I'm too damned tired to look in the garage for my bungee cords right now. And there it will sit until it starts to ferment and we get to stir it daily, measure, etc...for seven days. Then it sits for another seven, then we lid it with the valve in place for ten more days, rack it into our secondary carboy, and leave it for about three months. Then it's bottled and rests for a year.



Here's so we can keep track.



--oh...yeah we put about 1/2 cup of milled blueberries in there too for color and body.


This should be finished in a minimum of 16 months.  A LONG wait for a taste of summer.

Product Review: Zum Clean Laundry Soap

I make every cleaning supply in my home except dishwasher detergent and laundry detergent.  I've tried both and I failed miserably each time.  The laundry detergent fail was so epic I actually had to throw away ruined clothes and some cloth diapers.

Tears were shed.

So I've been a loyal Charlie's Soap customer going on eight years.  I've never had issues with their product and I'm a huge fan.  However, my favorite local retailer recently decided to stop carrying Charlie's because the company does not disclose their full ingredients.  Well, okay I'll try something new.

I first picked up Ecover since that was all the store had in stock.  I used it twice and put it away, it just plain sucked.

The next time I went in to see if, perhaps please please please, they'd decided to start stocking Charlie's again, they showed me their newest line of detergent:  Zum Clean.

I've used Zum's face bars in the past and found them decent, if a bit pricey.  But the detergent smelled nice and online reviews were pretty positive so I picked up a bottle of patchouli scent since they were sold out of the unscented.  I'm a big patchouli fan and I knew that if this followed their other products, the smell wouldn't linger after washing.

I've been experimenting with this stuff all month and as much as I want to like the product I have to admit I'm not a fan.  I've tried adding less, more, double the recommended amount, and on and on, but nothing has really worked to get my clothes clean.  As I've been using it, my clothing has taken on a rough feeling and has started to look grubby and stained.

I finally gave up after I pulled some dirty bed linens, of the bed wetter variety, out of the wash smelling like dirty peed on patchouli.  I was just done, my laundry is not getting clean with this detergent.

I broke down and visited another retailer in my area to pick up a container of Charlie's Soap.  I ran some of my children's clothing through a hardcore cycle:  prewash, heavy duty wash on hot, rinse, and extra rinse.  They came out looking amazing again.  The dingy grimy look is gone and they smell like clean laundry, free of fragrances.

I ran the same load of peed linens through the wash, just a sanitary cycle with extra rinse and it came out with no scents save the smell of clean linens.

The way this detergent was hyped up to me by the store I purchased it from, a store that I've trusted to make great product recommendations in the past, I was truly disappointed.

My biggest disappointment was how painful Zum Clean was when I spilled a bit on my hand.  I'd cut my finger while chopping some veggies for dinner and I ran for the sink yelling "ouch ouch ouch!" because it burned so badly.  I've gotten Charlie's Soap on cuts in the past and it was a slight sting, but nothing like the burning sensation I got from the Zum Clean.

So I say No! to Zum Clean

Gordon Butler Nature Preserve

One of my favorite green blob discoveries thus far has been Gordon Butler Nature Preserve in Hope Mills, NC.  It is a beautiful patch of land right off the main road in town that seems to be relatively unknown.  We've hiked out there many times this summer and each time is a joy and treat.  The paths are jeep trails and fairly well maintained and it's a very easy walk for young hikers.

Since this is an undeveloped piece of property, there are no bathrooms or available water on site so we have to pack everything in.  It's a short hike exploring the main trails, but I've yet to explore some of the lesser developed footpaths because they're very overgrown and the ticks and snakes have been very abundant this year.

The best features of this preserve are the Little Rockfish and Bucknose Creeks.  They converge together on the property and continue down through the woods to join up to the now non-existent Hope Mills Lake.  There's a dock out there where the water used to flow up onto a beach called Stone's Landing, but since the dam blocking Hope Mills Lake burst, the water level is much lower and the creek is shallow and fordable.

You can see where the water levels were once very high by the eroded banks, but the lower water means that much of the fallen trees that were once covered are now exposed and a joy to look at and explore.

We have gotten into the water here and paddled around a bit, but I keep the children in the shallow sections where it's usually no more than waist deep.  We've of course explored up and down the creeks that feed into the main body, specifically Bucknose Creek, but we haven't gone too far.  Maybe about 1/2 a mile.  It's pretty rough going and hard for smaller kids to navigate.  There's a lot of tree debris like logs and branches in the water so if someone isn't wearing the proper footgear they could potentially hurt themselves.

I've explored as much of the immediate area as possible and this spot is forbidden to the children who visit with us.  The current is rather swift where the creek splits and the bottom drops out to where I'm almost fully submerged.  I'm an experienced river swimmer and still had difficulty regaining the shallows where the bottom dropped out.  It really can sneak up on you if you aren't paying attention which is why I'm very cautious in allowing kids and poor or inexperienced swimmers to join us when we're first exploring a new area.

There are beautiful, unique trees in the preserve.  I believe I've identified them as bald or pond cypress.  They are awesome trees but because they grow very close to or in the water, they don't last a long time.  If you look closely at this picture, you can see that the water actually flows under and through this tree.

I'm sure it won't be long before it falls and looks like this.

Because most of this fallen wood has been submerged for a good length of time, the water has eroded and worn it into awesome shapes.  My favorite fallen tree remnant is this one.  If it weren't so fragile I think it would make an awesome perch for sitting.

But we follow the Hiker's Creed:

Let me enjoy this land while hiking.
Let me take pictures and leave nothing behind.

Because people are assholes, there's litter and debris out there.  The past few times we've gone I've brought in my large wood cart to help haul out trash we've found.  It makes for a bit of a crushed ride to the preserve as it takes up the entire trunk of my car, but it's awesome to see the trash dwindling away and not being replaced.  We've probably filled three trash bags in the times we've gone out and we've cleared some old trotlines out of the creek as well.  I'm sure we could go daily for months before we get it all out of there, but we've made an impact, and a positive one at that.

This is truly a special place that is close to my heart.  It makes me so happy we can drive for five minutes and enter a nature wonderland that is still pure and intact so close to the hubbub of shopping centers and busy life.  It's not well-known and I hope it stays that way.

Green Blob Summer

I live in an area with a lot of water, however it's water you have to pay to use.  There are three lake "beaches" or water parks that charge $12+ per person for people to access their water.  Fort Bragg has a lake on post that they charge to use as well, other than that, lakes are mostly off limits.

I'm a Florida girl.  I grew up two houses from the ocean and spent my life on the beach.  When I moved inland as a teen I lived in a county that was peppered with lakes and freshwater springs.  I lived on lakes and in the springs.  I was always swimming, skiing, waterboarding, or floating in the water.

I grew up in the water.  I live to swim.

When I get into the water I am at such peace.  It doesn't matter how horrible the world may be right then, the water just sets me at ease.  It doesn't matter if I'm standing in a trickling stream or stroking across a river, water is my element and when I'm in the water I am full of joy.

My fondness of water extends to my children.  They love swimming and as they gain confidence in their swimming ability they enjoy swimming in waters that are a little less bound in by see-ment walls.  This summer, I want to give them their fill of water while I attempt to fill in the gaps left by the ocean that should be across the street from my house.

Surprisingly this is a very difficult task.  I have spent the past month poring over google maps looking for blue and green blobs that indicate bodies of water and parks.  Countless phone calls have been made, I've gone driving all over three counties, and I've talked to a LOT of very odd people.  I've found the best way to find swimming holes is word of mouth so I've taken to badgering everyone I know and sending The Man to work to badger everyone he knows.  If I know someone grew up here or has lived here a long time, they get texts, emails, and calls from me begging for info on swimming locally.

It's starting to pay off.  I've found one great lake and another good swimming hole on a creek.  We've already visited the lake three times, but have yet to visit the creek save for a scouting expedition.  In addition to this I've found several areas to hike, one with a creek we can wade and explore.  I'm a huge hiking buff and this year the kids have discovered that hiking really is fun and enjoyable.  We hiked four miles last week at Raven Rock State Park, a favorite park to hike and this week I found another state park for hiking and canoeing.  Now I just need to find a canoe, oh how I miss having a canoe.

Track Mom, or How I Learned to Stop Living and Love the Sport

Sorry, Dr Strangelove reference there in the title.

Track has been my life since mid March.  Three days a week, we are at the track field for practice.  At least one other day a week I've been trying to run Boy on the 2.3 mile trek we chose through the neighborhood.  I now live, breathe, sleep, and eat track.  Everything in my life is now centered on how long I have to do x,y, and z before we have to be at the field or be sure Boy does x,y, and z so he can do well at the field.

We've done some organized sports in the past, but nothing like this.  Boy is not...athletically gifted...but in track, he has found something he is passionate about and wants to pursue.  So I'm supporting it and by supporting it, I mean dropping what little time I had outside of work to shuttle him back and forth.

I've heard Hockey Moms have it worse...dear god, 6 am practice.  *shudder*

But Boy is doing well and he's grown in confidence by leaps and bounds, I will do what is needed to keep him going.  Watching him run and improve his strength, stamina, and time makes me swell to the point of bursting with pride.  Another great benefit is that Boy is no longer allowed to be picky, he must eat a variety of foods to feed his body's needs so that he can become a better athlete, which means I get to Cook All The Things!!!! that I haven't gotten to cook in ages.  It's very liberating for my dusty cookbooks and food blog.

Yesterday was his second track meet and he did pretty well.  Track meets aren't as bad as I thought they were going to be, especially since I found a canopy on sale at the local sporting store for $50.  That made a world of difference, I was able to set up my own little kingdom in the shade and sit there drinking, snacking, and knitting in a leisurely comfort away from all the chaos of kids that don't belong to me...except when they realized I'm a Nice Mom who doesn't scream and yell and brings things like coloring books, toys, games, and movies.  Sigh.  Still it was nice and not too hot between the shade and breeze.

Boy is really starting to get the "you're a girl" comments because of his long hair, but he handles it well and once his gender is established within the group he makes friends fast.  He's now part of the Three Musketeers and very proud of this fact.  I'm thinking he's about the right age for the book so I'll download it for his Kindle app and encourage him to read it before showing him the movie (if it's age appropriate, I honestly can't remember because it's been so long).

Of course, what is a brag post about my kids without pictures?

100 Meter Dash

 Long Jump (8'10"!!!! and that was his shortest jump)

Why I Hate Mother's Day

Uh oh, I haven't posted in forever and I barge in with an emotive blog post, but here it goes.

I've always hated Mother's Day.  Growing up without a mother, I'd have to make crafts for my dad at church or school instead of my mom which always caused teasing or questions.  The worst of all was "where's your mom?" because back in the 80s, moms still raised their kids.  It was unheard of to have a single father back then. I had several friends with single moms, but none with a single father.  Of course, when I was questioned, I would answer with a childish blunt honesty "she killed herself."  Aaaaaand...cue awkwardness.

Mother's Day was always a reminder of what I didn't have and never would have again.

When I got pregnant I kind of admit I got hopeful about Mother's Day since yay! I'm a mom now, it can be a good day again, but it wasn't.  He Who Shall Not Be Named never really did much for me on Mother's Day because he either was away or just didn't care.  There were some half-hearted efforts lest he infuriates the woman he was with, but sincerity was lacking and it wasn't quite right.

It just fell flat and was a disappointment.

I often wondered to myself if I'd built the holiday up too much in my mind, but many of my friends would post images on various message boards, blogs, and groups of their breakfast in bed, gifts of drawings and flowers, and time off from the day in and day out drudgery of motherhood.  I didn't get that.  I'd get flowers, or I'd get take out for breakfast, and I was grateful for what I got, but it was never a day of being treasured or feeling truly valued.

So boo to Mother's Day.  Hooray for wine! (but not whine because I love my kids and my life is pretty darn good too).

Because it's Mother's Day, I treated myself to my favorite breakfast, carrot pancakes with cream cheese spread.  It's a bit of work, but worth it.

Hit the Ground Running

In seven days life has flipped all around like the most intense roller coaster. First, we rescued Freyja, then Girl got sick, on Monday out male chihuahua was bitten by our foster dog, and Thursday a friend was in a motorcycle crash. Between sick kids, convalescing dogs, making inquiries into Freya's future, and visiting my friend in the hospital life has been one hell of a ride.

Freyja has been spayed and brought up to date on her shots as well as treated for her severe infestations of parasitic worms. Check one on the list. I've got the ball rolling nationwide to get her networked and available through various rescues geared towards malamutes so check two on the list. Children are back to health. Check three.  Bean has been treated for his bite and is healing with a bruised ego. Check three.  Friend is out of the hospital and is convalescing in my home where she can receive around the clock care. Check four. I've started a fundraiser to assist my friend with her medical costs. Check five.

Can I go to bed now? I haven't slept well in a week and I'm tired. I'm not a saint, I just doing the right things and for the right reasons. I was always told undid them for the wrong reasons, but I think I've got it going well now. I just need some sleep.  Here's to hoping a new week will bring health and restoration to my friend and family, an ideal home for Freyja, and a bit of down time  

When Life Gives You Lemons....Make Dog Treats!

As I adjust our foster dog to a new, high quality, grain-free diet, I've discovered that grain free treats are not a very affordable option.  With chihuahuas, a $6 pack will last well over a month, but with a malamute requiring lots of positive reinforcement, this is a great expense.  She ate an entire bag in two days (in my defense it was an itty bitty bag of treats for toy breeds) as we teach her that the crate is not a punishment, but a safe happy place where she is to sleep and use when she needs some time to herself.  Her manners thus far have been impeccable, but she has to be crated at night and of course we want to spoil her a bit as well. 

I looked online for recipes and came across several to try.  I went with a drop cookie style treat this time and they've been a big hit with her and the chihuahuas.  Of course I can't just make a recipe, I have to alter and adjust to customize it to my own specifications, so this is my edit on an original recipe found on http://www.morethanpaleo.com

Grain-Free Dog Treats

2 sweet potatoes

2 T ground flax seed

4 T water

2 eggs

1 C peanut butter

1/2 C coconut milk

1 1/2 C garbanzo flour

Steam and mash the sweet potatoes.  I sliced mine and put them in the steamer basket of my rice cooker, allowed them to cool, pulled the peels off, and mixed them together in my mixer with the whisk attachment.

Mix the ground flax with the water in a separate bowl and leave it on the counter while the sweet potatoes cook, they'll absorb the water and form a paste.

Combine all of the ingredients in a mixing bowl to form a thick batter.  You may need to add more flour or coconut milk to your own desires.

Drop onto a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper and cook at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.  Pull them out and press them flat then put back in the oven for 10-30 minutes depending on the size of the treat.  The small treats (about the size of a quarter) require 20 minutes total cooking time and the large ones (pictured - the size of a conventional cookie) require 30 minutes total cooking time.

Allow to cool and then test them on your happy dogs and foster pup.  I plan on storing them in a glass jar, and from what I read online, they will keep up to two weeks on the counter.  This batch made 40 small cookies and 15 large cookies.

A Reluctant Rescue

Life sure can be crazy at times.  I am not a fan of dogs, yet I own two rescued chihuahuas and love them, though not so much the male when he chooses to pee on my rugs.  Three days ago, I went to pick up some items from a friend's house and found her dog in less than desirable conditions.  Due to extenuating circumstances in her life, she is no longer able to care for the dog and has been attempting to rehome her with no success.

I came home, called Man, and told him we had to do something immediately because the situation was just no good, bad, awful and the puppy wasn't happy.  A few hours later we were back at the house collecting the dog and her various belongings.

When we brought her home we spent an hour on the front porch brushing, brushing, and brushing until she'd had enough.  We then brought her into the bathroom and washed her until the hot water heater ran out of water, but she still wasn't fully clean, we rinsed her and called it good until we could get her more settled and comfortable.  She'd been through so much already and the bath was a bit distressing so she'll get another bath on the next sunny day.

She's so full of fluff it's hard to tell she's thin, but the second picture (showing my embarrassing pile of recycling to go out) does show some of her leanness.

Man laid on the floor with her for an hour and a half before we walked her for the night and put her in the kennel.  She was utterly blissed out and started to relax.

There is an issue with Freyja, she's dog aggressive.  So at the moment we have my dog sequestered in my room with a small chihuahua paradise set up while we work on how to address her issues and safely attempt to integrate her with them.  I'm in touch with a malamute rescue as well as putting out feelers to local trainers to find out how to resolve her aggression in a safe, controlled manner.  I've had two serious inquiries into adopting her and have screened one out and told the other she is next on my list to come meet her if she doesn't work out in my home.

Since taking her in, I have been on the phone and computer calling and emailing everyone under the sun about her.  I've talked with the owner who had her prior to the people I rescued her from and got a great amount of her history under my belt and it's tragic.  She was bred multiple times and has been rehomed multiple times.  At some point in her life she developed dog aggression and the woman I spoke to rehomed her in the hopes she would go to a good home where she would not live stressed out by other dogs and loved.  Sadly, I am her sixth placement in her four short years of life and if I'm not her last, I want to be sure whomever she goes to will be  her final family.  She deserves to be loved because all she has to give is her love and she gives of it freely.

Now that she's settled in, she is utterly blissed out between all the love we have to offer.  She has labeled herself Protector of Children and when the kids went to school on Friday I walked her with us to the bus stop.  When the Yellow Flashing Machine of Death pulled up, she placed herself between it and the children in an attempt to protect them from impending doom.  Once she realized the school bus was a gigantic CAR full of excited children, it was all I could do to keep her off the bus because she wanted to ride with the kids. 

Girl came home from a sleepover with a stomach virus and Freyja has been nothing but a source of comfort to her between laying next to her on the couch and pacing outside the bathroom whining while Girl vomits and cries.  Once Girl was feeling a little better they got down on the floor together for some pettings and next thing you know, the belly was up for grabs and the world was good for a time.

The past few days have been hectic to say the least.  Helping her adjust, dealing with an ill child, and still keeping my other pets happy and content is taxing me to great lengths.  I am not very excited about adding another dog to my family and maintain a cautiously pessimistic outlook on the success of this venture, but it needed doing and I learned that when I want something done right, I have to do it myself.  So it's being done.

Washable, More Like Laughable

When I separated from my ex husband I had to get OUT and took very little with me in regards to furniture.  I got the couch and chair, my mattress, a bed frame for the Girl, Boy's dresser, and the dining room table.  I had $1000 to furnish my home so off I went to IKEA.  This meant I bought as much as possible with little (because that stuff adds up FAST).  I wound up buying the cheapest mattresses I could for my children.

Well, Girl still wets the bed on occasion and this means that in spite of my constant spraying down and protective layers her mattress was getting kind of smelly.  The tag on her mattress said the cover was removable and washable so off it came and after two washes it finally came out without a scent.  The mattress itself (cheap foam wrapped around springs) was sprayed down with an enzymatic cleaner and left to bake in the sun for the better part of a day.

When I took off the cover I knew I was in for trouble when it was time to put it back together, but I had no clue how hard it would be.  That foam is very grippy and did not work well when trying to shove it back into the cover.  The cover has a soft inner nap that wanted to stick to the foam and stay where it was.  After three attempts I finally got it back together with much cursing and back wrenching effort.

It doesn't look like much and pardon the mess in the garage, it's my staging zone for closet and clothing sorting at the moment so it's a hot mess, but here is a picture of success.

Don't do it.  Just don't.  I mean it was worth all the effort and I'll certainly state that I'm thrilled with how clean and fresh smelling it is now, but I was lied to.  Washable my ass.

Value - Or, Just Say NO!

I read an opinion piece today about artists and their value.  While it specifies those in the artistic industry such as photography and videography, I find this applies to both my crafting and my work.

I am frequently asked to knit, sew, craft, etc...items for friends when they see what I've made.  Some offer payment, others offer to buy the materials, and still others just expect me to do it for the fun of doing it and offer it as a gift.

Before I began to sew and knit seriously, I often thought that hand knit items were ridiculously overpriced; that was until I sat down and knit my first sweater and sewed my first dress.  Then I realized that people offer handcrafted items for sale are woefully underpaid.  My tastes run towards more costly items like fine quality yarns and stylish fabrics so when someone sees something I've made, they don't realize that my handmade item cost maybe twice what it would have cost if I'd picked it up in a store.  After factoring time to craft the item, well...it's a hobby as I tell people, and I don't make things for fun and profit, just for fun.  I do knit and sew for others as gifts, but when I have requests, more often than not I will say no.

That's hard for me, saying no.  I was raised to give of myself and then give more, but I rarely have time for the crafts that I love so much and having to do them for other people makes it onerous.  I actually will put off crafting an item for other people's requests until the very last minute because I am just not feeling it.

As for work, that's a very hard one for me.  I have learned to accept rejection of my rates, hard as it may be, and to refuse to offer services when potential clients attempt to haggle me down.  I've done favors before, but I've often found that the favors are seldom returned and rarely appreciated.  They also tend to lead to multiple requests for favors.

The other day I had such a request.  I would normally charge about $280 plus, given the condition of the home, a $40 wear and tear fee on my equipment and sanity.  I was offered less than half my standard rate, and as much as I wanted to help a person I like, I politely declined their offer and told them my rate is my rate, friendship aside.

Of course, there's a part of me inside that thinks that extra money would be nice, I could do something nice with the kids or invest in some hiking equipment for my big fall trip, but I have to value myself and say no when someone attempts to undervalue me.  I offer a service, and I expect to be paid for that service in a profitable manner. While I truly enjoy what I do, it's very hard and dirty work, and I do a damned good job.  That's why I charge the rates I charge, you get what you pay for and you get a lot from me when I work for you.  I've had housekeepers in the past, and I've come  home from a long, hard day only to clean up the mess the housekeeper has left behind: puddles of cleaning fluid, smears on my windows and doors, and worst of all...Pledge furniture polish buildup on my bathroom tiles.

I am not a charity, I'm not looking for an "opportunity" to get my business name out there.  Out of all the favors I've done for others, I've never seen a referral or money that I was promised in the future.  It was an opportunity for the person whom I helped to save money and get a great deal, and it has always left me feeling angry, bitter, and used.

So I don't do favors.  I reject low ball offers of payment.  I accept rejections from potential clients who feel my prices are too high.  That's life and I will not undervalue myself.

Temper Temper

I have one hell of a temper.  There are many days when I have to put myself in time out because I get all worked up and then I'm mean to everyone around me.  One of the big things I have to be sure to keep under control is not letting the little things get to me, but it often seems that I'm washed over by a wave of little things all at once and next thing I know it I'm screaming and flailing about in a rage.

Today was exhausting, just a very hard work day with no breaks.  I rented a high powered carpet extractor and spent the better part of  six hours treating my floors with an enzyme product to break down dog urine and then cleaning and rinsing my rugs.  I'm worn out.  I'm beat.

Then I realized that I HAVE to get the chicken feed out to the girls which got me in the back yard.  Next thing I know I'm neatening their coop and feeding them when I remembered I needed to take out the compost.  Out I go with the compost bin and I find that the compost heap has once again been scattered into the yard by the chickens and it's a big mess doing me no good.  I raked all the compost into the pile again and then grabbed some boards to place upright in the earth to form a bit of a border.  Then I stacked the rest of the boards next to the shed, neatened up the yard a bit, and headed back in to find...

...my mouse to my laptop wasn't working.

This is an OLD laptop and the touch pad doesn't work so I have to have a mouse.  I changed the batteries, nope.  I went through and updated the driver, nope.  That's when I started to feel the rage filling me.  I wanted to throw things, cuss, and scream but just out of curiosity I checked the battery.  It was in wrong.

I'm going to call it a day and have a good laugh at myself.

Spring Cleaning Checklist

Spring is coming so it's time to get thinking about cleaning.  I wrote out my checklist I work out every year and will have it printed tomorrow so I can start working towards my goals.  I prefer to do this one room at a time and set goals as well as giving myself rewards for completing my tasks.  Typed out, it honestly doesn't look like much, but I know it's a daunting task list I've just given myself, but it needs to be done, and I'll do it.

Spring Cleaning

Kitchen

• Wash walls
• Wash trim
• Window frame, sill, and glass
• Fridge – inside, top, sides, back, and clean vent. New baking soda and water filter
• Oven – clean cycle, wipe sides, clean drawer
• Range top – wipe down, clean filter
• Microwave – wipe out, clean sides and front, clean back vent
• Dishwasher – disassemble and deep clean, run with vinegar. Top off Jet Dry
• Cabinets – empty, wipe out, and reorganize. Wash fronts and scrub handles
• Counters – remove all items and wipe down. Refresh caulking in needed areas
• Trash cans - empty and wash out, wipe down fronts
• Wash light fixtures
• Replace fire alarm battery
• Shelves – remove items, wipe down
• Floor – sweep and scrub on hands and knees. Move fridge and oven to clean under
• Vacuum and wipe out floor register
• Stain door to garage

Reward for completion – eat dinner out or bottle of nice wine/cider

Dining Room

• Wash walls
• Wash trim
• Window frame, sill, and glass
• Clean worm bin, drain, and harvest castings
• Sort under worm bin table
• Reorganize desk and wipe with magic eraser
• Reorganize sewing area. Move fabrics not being used to storage box in garage
• Remove all books from shelf and wash shelf. Adjust shelves to maximize storage capacity and rearrange books. Bring books from other locations to place on shelf.
• Wash entire table, top to bottom. Condition wood.
• Wash each chair, top to bottom. See if broken chair can be repaired again or find replacement
• Bottle mead and dandelion wine
• Floors – sweep and steam
• Baseboards – wash
• Vacuum and wipe out floor register

Reward for completion – buy more books

Foyer

• Clean storm door inside and out, including handles
• Wash front door, inside and out, including handles
• Wash walls
• Wash trim and dust pictures
• Wipe out curio cabinet
• Scrub baseboards
• Sweep and steam floors

Reward for completion – new cat for cabinet

Living Room

• Wash walls
• Wash trim
• Dust pictures/decor
• Move furniture to sweep, dust, and steam floors under
• Dust furniture
• Reorganize entertainment center
• Sell video games we don't play
• Wash couch and chair
• Clean out fireplace – remove ash, wash tools, clean out vents, wash glass doors
• Place fireplace tools and wood holder in garage loft
• Wash window sills and windows
• Wash ceiling fan
• Sweep and steam floors

Reward for completion – new curtains for window

Hall

• Wash walls
• Dust décor
• Wash air intake
• Vacuum out air intake
• Organize and sort linen closet
• Wipe baseboards
• Wipe trim
• Vacuum rug

Reward for completion – print and frame photos for wall

Hall Bath

• Wash shower curtain
• Wash walls
• Empty medicine cabinet, reorganize, wipe out, and dust top
• Empty sink cabinet, wipe out, reorganize, repair drawers
• Replace toilet innards
• Scrub toilet, remove seat to deep clean
• Wash around toilet – walls and floor
• Remove tub floor trim and replace
• Scrub tub and shower walls, wipe top, replace shower head
• Wash tub toys and storage bin
• Wash and refill shampoo/conditioner bottles
• Buy new body puff
• Vacuum/wipe out floor register
• Sweep and scrub floors on hands and knees

Reward for completion – new picture for bathroom

Girl's Room

• Wash walls and trim
• Wash window and sill
• Wash curtain and rehang
• Wipe off blinds
• Organize dresser
• Sort clothes, donate/sell outgrown and shift seasonal to storage in closet
• Spray mattress and air outside. See about washing the cover
• Wash pillows and stuffed animals
• Sort shelf, wipe down, and reorganize
• Empty closet – reorganize toys, sort through clothes, sell or donate unwanted toys/clothes
• Move furniture OUT
• Wipe baseboards
• Vacuum/wipe out floor register
• Vacuum and shampoo carpets

Reward for completion – new wall decals/poster

Boy's Room

• Wash walls and trim
• Wash window and sill
• Wipe off blinds
• Organize dresser
• Sort clothes, donate/sell outgrown and shift seasonal to storage in closet
• Spray mattress, air outside, and see about washing cover
• Wash pillows and stuffed animals
• Empty desk, reorganize, and fix cork board
• New dresser knobs
• Empty closet – reorganize toys, sort through clothes, sell or donate unwanted toys/clothes
• Move furniture OUT.
• Wipe baseboards
• Vacuum/wipe out floor register
• Vacuum and shampoo carpets
• Hang rug and posters

Reward for completion – new dresser knobs of Boy's choice

My Room

• Wash walls and trim
• Wash window sill and glass
• Dust furniture
• Clean ceiling fan and grease
• Wipe lamp shades
• Empty and reorganize bedside storage
• Clean under bed, sort and store items
• Empty trunk, reorganize, and prepare for blanket storage
• Empty dresser, sort clothes and donate/sell what I don't fit/wear
• Find new home for printer or buy a printer table
• Move storage bin to garage
• Spray mattress and try to get it outside to sun
• Wash ALL linens and pillows
• Remove furniture
• Wash baseboards
• Vacuum and wipe out floor register
• Vacuum and shampoo rugs

Reward for completion – bed skirt for bed

My Closet

• Empty and reorganize
• Move storage items to garage, including yarn
• Vacuum and shampoo

Reward for completion - $50 to spend on clothes/shoes

My Bathroom

• Wipe down mirror
• Wipe down counter and sink
• Remove all items from drawers and cabinets, wipe down, reorganize, and dispose of items
• Wash bathroom rugs and shower curtain
• Replace vinyl curtain
• Scrub shower
• Sort through beauty items and wipe down or dispose
• New bath puffs
• Scrub toilet and floor
• Wash walls
• Replace floor trim under shower
• Touch up paint Mimi peeled off wall

Reward for completion – new Lush shower gel

Garage

• Wash blanket covering supplies
• Sort through and donate unused art supplies
• Clean washer – drawer too
• Clean dryer – drawer too
• Organize shelves
• Organize loft
• Sweep and steam floor
• Hang fly screen
• Replace broken door handle

Reward for completion – satisfaction

Porch

• Wash table and chairs
• Clean and repair grill
• Sweep and scrub porch boards
• Rake under porch
• Sprinkle diatomaceous earth under porch
• Hang fly screen
• Hang fly deterrent bag

Reward for completion – new mat for back door OR new chair cushions

Exterior

• Wash siding
• Wash windows
• Sweep porch
• Clean out front porch light
• Wash garage door
• Wash out garbage and recyling bins
• Spray exterior with bug treatment
• Spray under house for bugs

Chickens

• Remove coop slats and clean
• Empty and wash nesting boxes
• Refresh boxes with pine straw
• Move and rake out under coop
• Relocate coop to under pine tree and closer to shed
• Wash water and feed bins
• Paint coop

Reward for completion – new chicks

Yard

• Clean out beds
• Trim bushes
• Tear out front beds, seed, and remulch
• Rake pine needles and dispose
• Mow and bag, move to compost
• Rake compost and create boundary with a board
• Trim branches on dogwood

Reward for completion – ferns to hang on porch 

Motherless Mothers

I lost my mother at a young age, and growing up my father did his best to fill in the gaps with amazing women in my life.  My fondest memories of a mother-figure are of my old babysitter who would play with me.  I have vague recollections of my mom playing with me, but my sitter was just awesome.  She would get down on the floor with me to play Barbie and My Little Pony and even sewed clothes for my toys.  Another woman my father dated was very much a Susie Homemaker who enjoyed sewing dresses for me and baking all sorts of delicious treats.

The woman my father wound up marrying is the polar opposite of all the mother figures he'd placed in my life to nurture me.  She's an amazing woman, intelligent, kind, and loving, but we didn't bond until I had my second child and was a grown woman.

Since I never truly had a mother-daughter bond, or really experienced (to my memory) how a mother bonds with her children, I've always felt as if I'm missing something or not doing enough for my kids.  Quite often, I feel like I'm just going through the motions of motherhood and doing what's expected because it's what I think moms should do, or because it's what the mother I wanted would have been like.  I'm not sure.  It frequently feels fake or hollow, and it's hard to put my finger on exactly why.

I strive to be the Perfect Mother in all ways, but I so very often fall short, and it kills me inside.  I want to be Mother Bear from the Little Bear books, kind and gently loving while making all sorts of yummy goodness to share with my offspring, but the reality is me yelling at the kids, pushing them away, and hiding from them when I get overwhelmed by all the expectations I hold myself up to.

Several times I've attempted to find online support networks for mothers without mothers, but I've found that the groups are either older women who lost their mothers as adults or people who just want to vent and find support dealing with their grief.  I've been unable to find women who can help me relate to being a mother without any motherly guidance in her life.  So I wing it, and I go it alone.

While I do mourn the loss of my mother and feel the emptiness inside from time to time, I feel that it happened so long ago that it really doesn't impact me anymore.  Save for the anniversary of her death, I don't feel much sadness or sorrow, and it really is just a fact of life.  I don't have a mother and I don't remember much of the mother I had.

I just fear that I'm not a good mom.  People tell me I'm an awesome mother but inside I'm thinking that I've completely pulled the wool over their eyes because I feel like I'm nothing more than a farce.  I have no example to hold myself up to in my mind and not having someone in my life to model leaves me feeling a bit lost.  I need a mentor, a person to compare myself to, but I lack that inner guidance because I never had the experience of a real mother in my life.

So I keep muddling, and I keep wondering.  I can only hope that my children turn out okay and I don't cause their therapy bills to be through the roof in their adulthood.

Dirty Dishwashers

I wipe my dishwasher down with hot soapy water and scrub along the door, the seals, and the bottom about twice a month.  Monthly I will put a small mixing bowl filled with white vinegar in the bottom rack and run a  heavy duty cycle to keep it clean and fresh.

Even with all of that I'd been noticing my dishes coming out dirty.  It was small at first, usually just a little particulate in my coffee mugs, but it progressively worsened and today I had the time to take the machine apart and give it a good, proper cleaning.

In my past life (before divorce), I could afford to hire someone to do this.  Each year I had someone out to maintain all my appliances: fridge, dishwasher, washer, and dryer and it was worth every penny.  I also do routine maintenance at home regularly, but obviously it's not enough.  Given the fact that I'm living in a rental property, I'm sure that the appliances weren't well maintained by previous tenants, and few people have my standard of cleanliness so seeing what I saw when I got the machine dismantled wasn't necessarily a surprise, but it was disgusting.

This is an image-heavy entry, but it does show how to properly do a deep clean on a dishwasher.  Warning, these images are DISGUSTING.


This is my dish washer before.  It doesn't look bad honestly.

I pulled out both top and bottom racks to free up workspace.

It didn't look bad at first glance, but I've seen the dark matter under the sump cover and knew something wasn't quite right.

I removed the spray arm by pressing a butter knife into each catch.  It came out easily.

Then I took my handy dandy hand socket set and removed the bolts holding the sump cover in place.

When I took out the sump cover I actually recoiled in disgust.  There was this skin of scum and dirt covering the top of the cover, it peeled off after soaking in the sink. Vile.  I took a toothbrush and scrubbed out the arm and sprayed it clean with my sink's hose attachment.  It really wasn't too dirty, but there was a blockage in one of the holes.  The cover soaked in a sink of HOT HOT water with bleach and soap (sorry guys, I sold out to the chemical man and went with bleach on this one).  Then I scrubbed it with a toothbrush several times.

This is what my dishwasher looked like when I got the spray arm and cover out.  I put the chopstick in there to help fish out the gunk, it wasn't found in there...though a q-tip was (gag).

Once I got everything apart and out, I scrubbed the unit with soapy water, going easy on the soap.  I did use some baking soda to scour the very grimy spots, but this was an elbow grease job.  I poured a goodly amount of bleach into the unit, closed the door, and ran a heavy duty cycle.  This was about five minutes into the cycle.

Then I did it again.  This is about five minutes in as well (and it was clean).  The sump is actually stained from all the years of filth.  I've looked online and it seems there really is no way to remove the staining.

After I felt the inside was clean I unscrewed the door cover and removed it from the machine.  This is the base of the door cover where I can't reach to clean properly when its in place.

And this is the inside of the door cover, the part you never see.  There was actual mildew on the styrofoam cover for the door vent.  I removed the screws and took this out.  If you do this, be sure to remember how it goes back together.  Then I wiped down the entire door with my all purpose spray and a rag.

The door vent was pretty grotty so I sprayed and wiped it out well, using a tooth brush in the corners.  Then I washed the actual vent in the sink with hot soapy water.

I reassembled the machine and ran another cycle (still running or there'd be pictures) and considered the job a success.

This is what came out of my "clean" dishwasher.  Just goes to show that even clean people have filth in their lives.  I'm hoping this means my dishwasher will clean the dishes again.

The WTF finds were an intact carrot slice UNDER the sump cover (I have no clue how it would fit?!), a q-tip, a foil cover for a drink, and an old rusty nail.

This deep deep clean will be added to my every six months cleaning list.  I'd say it took me a good four hours between running the three wash cycles and taking care of kids in the mix.

Hand Wringing

I'm a worrier.  I obsess.  Within my social network I have been dubbed the Official Hand Wringer.  I'm the one in the background wringing her hands and muttering to herself that such and such is bad, this or that is going to happen, and on and on.

You could tell me I inherited a billion dollars from a long-lost relative and I would find something to worry about.  Taxes! Litigation from bitter would-be heirs!  I'll end up like all those lottery winners you read about, drunk and destitute in five years!

See?

Tuesday snow started falling again.  It was pretty, and I truly enjoyed it, but I knew we were in for worse things like the ice storm bearing down upon us.  I did a quick evaluation since I knew I was stocked in regards to consumables and whatnot, and realized that I was missing some very key essentials like water, batteries, and candles.  I just haven't purchased any emergency candles since I moved into this house, no specific reason why no besides the fact that the weather has been very mild the past two years.  As for the batteries, well I blame the children for eating them or something.  The water was easy to explain, the local utility company has been working on the system a street away and last week they dropped something on the water main causing the water to slow to a trickle and then run cloudy for several days.  I burned through all my water supplies since the water tasted awful and looked awful.

I took my very reluctant chihuahuas out for a walk and there were just a few flakes drifting down peacefully.  After they finally did their thing I took them back in and headed to the local WalMart for the few things I needed.  By the time I'd driven two miles to the main road I could no longer see the lines in the road.  By the time I left the store (it took over an hour thanks to only six open check out lines) there were about two inches of snow on my car and the ground.

What is a ten-minute drive on a bad traffic day took me over thirty minutes because the roads were so bad.  Adding fuel to that fire was the fact that few people can drive in this, and there were all sorts of foolishness on the roads.  One person was driving 15 mph in the middle of the road and causing back ups.  Other people were driving on the shoulder (and going all over the place), tailgating, and just driving like total jackanapes.  It was terrifying.

But in that moment, I felt no fear.  No nervousness.  I kept myself gathered and calm, kept both hands on the wheel in the 10 and 2 o'clock positions, and I drove cautiously and carefully.  Even when my car skidded off the road I just went with it, let the car do its thing, and then gradually pulled back onto the pavement.  I made it home in one piece and didn't even feel a slight shaking of my nerves.

Of course once I got home I obsessed over weather reports and started wringing my hands because we're at a high risk for power outages.  Instead of sitting there making myself go into a worry death spiral I got the Man dressed and out the door to bring wood from the shed, feed the chickens, and secure the house as best we could.  Then I got into the kitchen and started cooking and preparing food in case we lose power.  I have a grill and I'm as prepared as can be, but I wanted to have food in case it was too bad to grill outside.

Man got on the phone and started calling friends in the area to make sure they were all ready and surprisingly no one had done much of anything.  A short while later, notifications started popping up on facebook as friend after friend we'd contacted started to brag about their storm preparedness.

So I guess my hand wringing isn't all for naught, there is a need for a worry wart in everyone's lives.  I guess I'm The Robot to all my friends but I don't do the arm waving or holler "Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!"  I sit in the background whimpering and muttering while wringing my hands until someone notices and listens, then shares what I've said.

Natural Cleaning Products

I own a small cleaning business that uses only natural cleaning products I make myself.  My main ingredients are vinegar, water, baking soda, soap, and essential oils.  That's it.  I do make furniture polish as well, and those ingredients are a little more dear (beeswax specifically) but only one of my clients actually has fine wood furniture that requires waxing/polishing and my stuff is mostly IKEA crap, so I don't have to mix that up very often.

I started using natural cleaners shortly after I was pregnant with my son.  I'd become more interested in natural living and honestly, I was sick of cleaners that irritated my sinuses and eyes, not to mention my skin.  Over years of fiddling and messing around with ideas I found online, I finally found a system that works for me.  When I stopped using harsh cleaners like Pine Sol and bleach, I realized that I just felt better.  I didn't have sinus issues following a deep clean of my house and I began to appreciate things smelling clean by a lack of scent, not an overpowering smell of an agent.

For most everything I clean, I use my all-purpose spray.  My spray consists of vinegar, water, a dash of dish soap (Dawn, sorry, I use nothing else), and tea tree essential oil.  It cleans everything except granite and marble.  For granite and marble, straight rubbing alcohol is my go-to.  I simply spray, let it sit for a minute, then wipe and go.

If there's tough grit or cooked on food on the stove top or inside the oven I make a paste of baking soda and soap, rub it in, and let it sit while I clean the rest of the kitchen.  Then I go back and scrub with a scrubby sponge and wipe away with clean water.  I finish it off by spraying down the surface with my vinegar based mixture, this usually helps finish off the film/residue.

For bathrooms I use straight vinegar with tea tree oil and a dash of soap in the toilet. I only scrub toilets on my hands and knees with a dedicated toilet sponge.  I also wipe the walls, cabinets, and floors around the toilet to make sure it's really clean.  The tubs get a baking soda/soap paste to scrub and scour away any residues or build ups, I love love love my clients that have clear glass shower doors because it is so satisfying to leave a cloudy glass door looking brand new and shiny again.  Of course I'll never own a glass shower for that specific reason, it's a LOT of work keeping glass looking that good, but I do admit that when kept up with properly, glass doors are attractive.

The ace up my sleeve for my home and business is elbow grease.  I get very aggressive and scrub hard when cleaning.  I always laugh to myself because I lost over 50 lbs when I started up my business.  Cleaning an entire 2000+ sq ft house in 4 hours is better than one hour at the gym.  Even at my most gym-rat stage of gym rattiness, I never got such a good workout for such a consistent period of time.  The only thing I can think of that's a better workout is a 10 mile hike in rough terrain (and I am eagerly awaiting warmer weather so I can start up hiking again).

For floors I sweep and then vacuum with my dyson on the hard floor feature.  I use the wand to get corners and baseboards (though sometimes those need wiped down), and I try to hit the ceilings about once a month with my brush attachment to make sure cobwebs are kept down.  Carpets get sprinkled with a baking soda/essential oil mixture to reduce carpet odors and leave them smelling fresh.  I put this down before I start cleaning anything, it's my first cleaning step, and vacuum before I walk out the door.

Hard floors are steamed with my haan floor mop that has reusable and washable pads.  In my home I just use it without any oils added to the pads, but my clients enjoy pretty smells so I'll put several drops of essential oils onto the pad prior to starting it up and as it steams it produces clouds of lovely smelling vapor.

And that's it:  water, vinegar, baking soda, soap, and essential oils.  Those are my keys to a clean, healthy home.